Lib: A statist, big government Progressive that truly thinks that more laws, more government spending and limiting those pesky inalienable rights so brilliantly articulated by our Founding Fathers will bring equality and contentment to the world.
Lib: Hey Teabagger, you’re a world class idiot hypocrite. You oppose the Republic landfill deal. I thought all you right-wingnuts supported free enterprise and capitalism.
Me: Hey nice to see you too, Lib. And to answer your snotty hypocrite comment, I largely oppose the deal because You support it. When Libs tout capitalism as a solution to problems, I smell trouble. Big Trouble.
Lib: Put your tinfoil hat away Teabagger, and better yet, throw it in the recycle bin. This deal is win win. Putnam County solves the leaky landfill problem, gets Millions up front, and lots more over the life of the contract. What could you lunatics possibly object to?
Me: Where do I start pinhead? Negotiating with one company is not capitalism. It is crony capitalism. The cronies get fat and the citizens are left scratching their heads wondering what the heck just happened. No, there’s much more to this than the sunshine illuminates.
Lib: You’ve really gone over the edge this time Teabagger. There were originally four bidders in this process. Republic won fair and square. This is honest business.
Me: Lib, you shouldn’t use words you don’t understand, like “honest”. What really happened? Were there four bidders, or four responses? Who wrote the bid documents, and how were they worded. Tell me about the “honest” selection process. What do you know about the leaky existing landfill, dork?
Lib: Come on now Teabagger, everyone knows that the old landfill is leaking, and has to be mined to remove all the recyclables and transfer the rest of this polluted trash to the new lined landfill. If not, this pollution will spread and an environmental disaster will erupt. Birds and fish and crabs and children will die. IT WILL BE A NIGHTMARE!
Me: Stop hyperventilating Lib. You guys all know that only one monitoring well is showing continuing leakage. The rest are showing diminishing pollutants. This problem can be managed. It’s not the end of the world. The real reason the old landfill has to be mined and the trash moved is that the new “Mount Trashmore” will be basically, a Pyramid, that will need a very wide base because of the projected height. And the base must extend over the existing landfill, which is not Kosher, Lib. So the old one must be cleaned out. Does it seem curious to you Lib that the mining work began months ago, before the, ahem, negotiations were settled? I smell a big fat landfill rat.
Lib: But, but, but the EPA says this must be cleaned up soon! We had to start right away!
Me: Sure, Lib, sure. First you create a crisis, then you solve it, and all the smart people make a few bucks in the process. This problem has been known for a long time, so why the urgency now? Is this the big chance to cash in?
Lib: You are a fool Teabagger, and I hate your guts! So how much are the Koch brothers paying you. You can’t prove any of this!
Me: Look Lib, you don’t know what I can prove. And besides, there is much more to this. We have just scratched the surface. There are many more curious nuggets of corrupt garbage to be mined here,
Lib: I DEMAND THAT YOU TELL ME THE REST!
Me: Sorry Lib, I’ve had enough of your insults. Go take a few valiums and calm down. We’ll continue this later….
Lib: I refuse to leave until you tell me everything you know…..
Me: (Interrupting) ….Go away Lib. I’m going to resort to the nuclear option. I suggest you leave NOW.
Lib: No, please don’t do it……
Me: It’s too late Lib, I told you to leave…….
(When I lit my cigarette, the Lib fled in hasty fear. I met him again later. The continuing conversation will be posted soon.)